How to Keep Your Relationship Interesting

Practical Strategies for Lasting Love

Written by Nigel G Kettle

When the thrill of new love fades and the routines of daily life kick in, many couples find themselves wondering how to recapture that spark. The truth is, relationships are living entities that require intentional effort and creativity to keep them vibrant and fulfilling. If left unattended, they can fall prey to the forces of what scientists call entropy. But with mindful choices and consistent nurturing, you can keep your partnership lively and deeply rewarding.

Nature is in a Constant State of Flux.

Everything in life is constantly transitioning from one state to another. Nothing remains constant.  You either compensate for this constant change or you fall victim to it. Unfortunately, our relationship is not exempt from this faith.  In fact, the number one reason relationships fail is that we become complacent and stagnant, allowing entropy to degrade our partnership. At the same time, we hopelessly complain and blame everything else for the failure except for ourselves.  

Be Intentional in Your Efforts

It’s tempting to relax once you’ve found “the one,” but relationships thrive on continued effort. The qualities that drew you together—your humor, kindness, or adventurous spirit—should remain present throughout your time together. Make it a priority to intentionally nurture these aspects, so your partner continues to experience the dynamic person they fell in love with.

Prioritize Communication

At the core of every flourishing relationship is open, honest communication. This means not only sharing your thoughts and dreams but also listening—really listening—to your partner. Express gratitude for the little things, even if your partner seems indifferent to praise. Appreciation goes a long way in making each person feel valued.

Listening is the most essential part of communication, yet it is fast becoming a forgotten art in our fast-paced, distracted world. Turn off your devices, make eye contact, and be present. Be empathetic and listen keenly when your partner expresses their views and opinions.  You don’t have to agree with their viewpoint; however, be respectful and aware that their opinion is just as important as yours. 

Stay Curious About Each Other

No matter how long you’ve been together, there’s always more to learn about your partner. Ask questions, share new ideas, and be open about your own hopes, dreams, and fears. Actively come up with new ways and things for you and your partner to explore and do together. Don’t allow your life to be governed by routines.

Be Forgiving and Address Challenges Together

Don’t let unresolved issues fester beneath the surface. Tackle problems as they arise, approaching them with respect and a willingness to find solutions together. Bear in mind that, as perfect as you think you are, you are just as flawed and make as many mistakes as your partner, just in a different way. Remember that your partner is putting up with your flaws and forgiving you. So, be willing to do the same.  

The act of forgiveness releases anger and resentment, leading to greater inner peace and joy. Letting go of grudges can reduce stress and improve both mental and physical health. Look at it this way, you are doing it for you—Ok, not really. You are doing it for both of you. Empathy, compassion, and humility strengthen the foundation of your relationship.

Share Activities and Adventures

Shared experiences are the heartbeat of an interesting relationship. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe, joining a fitness class, or exploring new places, engaging in activities together builds memories and brings joy. Even simple acts like daily walks can become cherished rituals that keep you both feeling connected and energized.

 

Set Aside the Phone 

The phone is fast becoming the major complaint I receive from couples. I am frequently told, “I can’t get my partner to put away their phone!” My mom had this complaint regarding our dad, who was 83 years old at the time. I was blown away that at that age, Pops could not seem to sit down and relax without browsing on his phone. 

I understand that if it's something important, like a call or similar, then of course it's okay to use your phone. However, that’s not what I’m referring to. I’m talking about constant browsing of social media and so on.

In this week’s podcast, I mention that my ex-wife would often be on her phone while we were watching a movie or TV show together. She couldn’t understand why I had a problem with her being on her phone during this time.  “We are just watching TV. Why does it bother you if I am on the phone or not?”  The fact is, as simple as that is, it is a shared moment with your partner where we are actively engaged in a story together. This is an integral part of bonding. We would watch, pause, and discuss parts, then proceed. Do not underestimate the intimacy and vitality of this time, nor the emotional impact it has on your relationship's stability. Several people have expressed the devastating emotional toll it has on their relationship.

Keep the Romance Alive

Romance isn’t just for the early days of dating—it should be a constant presence. Surprise your partner with small gestures, thoughtful notes, or spontaneous outings. Celebrate milestones and create intentional moments of affection and warmth throughout the week. While romance should not feel forced, it doesn’t hurt to plan and put aside some time for it. If you have a busy life, consider setting aside a day of the week or specific days when you can do romantic things together.  Now I get quite a bit of pushback on this from women, especially when it comes to sex. The excuse I get often is that romance and sex should be spontaneous, not planned. Well, the problem is that it doesn't happen spontaneously when you have a busy life, so you either plan for it or lose it. It is up to you.

I must mention, however, that people who do put some effort into planning romantic time together seem to enjoy a more fulfilling sex life than those who don’t.  When you do plan your romantic time, you are actually prepared both emotionally and mentally for the experience. In the back of your mind, you know today you are going home to be intimate with your partner.  You clear your schedule, and you are ready psychologically. Before you bash the idea, give it a shot.  Believe me, it can be very exciting. Please note that this is mainly meant for people who lead busy lives. I am also not implying that romance equates to sex, but it often includes sex.

The Importance of Sex in Your Relationship

 What better way to express yourself, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally than through flesh-to-flesh union—sex?  Sex is one of the most essential parts of romantic relationships, yet its role is often downplayed and reduced to mere physical gratification and a means of procreation. However, sex plays a far more fundamental role in relationships; it is a means of fostering emotional bonding and a deeper level of intimacy. It offers a unique form of nonverbal communication, allowing individuals to share affection, vulnerability, and express their love in ways that words alone cannot convey. Beyond pleasure and intimacy, sex contributes to mutual satisfaction, trust, and understanding.  It also strengthens a couple’s bond, reduces stress, and increases feelings of happiness and security within the partnership. While every relationship is unique and sexual needs may differ significantly, open communication and mutual respect around this topic often support a deeper connection and a more resilient relationship.

Embrace Humor and Playfulness

Don’t underestimate the power of laughter. Find humor in everyday moments, share inside jokes, and make time for light-hearted fun. Being playful together relieves stress and reminds you both not to take life—or each other—too seriously. I have come to recognize that humor is so important in my relationship and my health that I actively search for good jokes to share with my partner and my friends.  There is nothing that puts me in a great mood like a good joke!

Accept and Navigate Conflict

Every relationship experiences conflict. It is as natural as the air we breathe. What you have are two different people with different experiences and beliefs sharing one life. You are going to have disagreements. Accept this.  However, what matters is how you handle it. Approach disagreements with empathy, striving to understand your partner’s point of view. Avoid blame and criticism—focus instead on expressing your needs and finding common ground. Apologize when necessary and forgive freely so that you can move forward together.

Keep Growing—Individually and Together

Personal growth is vital for a thriving relationship. Encourage each other to pursue interests and ambitions, while also cultivating shared goals. Check in regularly: ask yourself if you’re still showing up as the best version of yourself for your partner. If not, recommit to bringing energy and excitement back into your relationship.

So in closing, keeping your relationship interesting isn’t about grand gestures or constant novelty—it’s about consistent effort, curiosity, a willingness to adapt, and counteracting the obstacles that pop up along the way. By nurturing communication, embracing change, learning to forgive, and prioritizing each other over distractions like social media, etc, you can build a partnership that remains exciting and deeply rewarding for years to come. Love, after all, is an adventure—and every day is an invitation to keep exploring and creating new paths together.

For more on the subject of love, please check out chapter four of my book, Balance, Counteracting the Obstacles in Life.